First let me say “Hi Guys” this is Dan here, Kath’s better looking half…what you don’t believe me? Fine!!!!
I guess you are all smarter than I thought. Anyway, before I digress too far I am here to write some advice to the guys, so ladies just letting you know this is for all the husbands to read…so eyes off…..
I said no reading ladies….
I meant it…
Fine, you can read it…
So anyway, on Sunday I awoke with a leaky throat and the inevitable signs of man flu announcing its arrival. With the hope of getting to take the next few days off and take it easy in bed watching Netflix/footy/cricket/netball/anythingratherthanworkorhouseholdchores ahead of me, I was willing to cope with the tough days ahead of near death that awaited me in the not too distant future.
Unfortunately, in my wife’s infinite wisdom, those lazy days were not meant to be.
I made the mistake of alerting her to my impending doom (perhaps as an attempt to get out of chores or parenthood duties that day) and it proved a vital mistake.
In true wife fashion, Kath had none of it and instead lovingly suggested (I think we all know this was “ordered”) me to take a concoction of oils, internally, externally and rectally. (OK maybe not the last one).
She suggested a lot of water with a drop of lemon, capsules containing Oregano, Frankincense, Peppermint, Ginger, and On Guard, an Immune roll-on created for our son with who knows what sorcery it obtained and finally some Easy Air on my chest.
Knowing the incredible epidemic that man flu is, I was sure none of this would work, so I happily obliged just dreaming of my day off the next day. (Pride cometh before the fall Gents).
The man flu inevitably had me in the late afternoon. I had no energy left, my legs were aching yet I helped get Zach off to bed, did the dishes and finished the night routine (because I am Superman after all).
I showered and crawled into bed (Not before another witches brew of many oils of course), all the while looking forward to the next day where I would be able to catch up on the latest series of Stranger Things and have my wife cater to my every need, due to my life-threatening virus.
But this is where everything went astray.
Instead of waking up with the inability to move, and therefore unable to help around the house, I could actually………….get up. I found my legs did not…hurt. My body had….energy. And in a cruel twist of fate, I was denied the crippling effects of man flu and knew that my dream of having a day off, had evaded me. In fact, the only sign that the man flu had ever visited was a little bit of congestion.
Kath seeing this, took no time at all in assigning me a job list, such things she expected done were – clean out the shed/garage, mow the lawn, paint the house, clean out the gutters, weed the garden (and this was to be done by morning tea….sheesh).
OK so the last thing may not be true as we live in a unit and as such, these jobs are not needed – I can just imagine this is what she would have had me done if we lived in a house. (joking, not joking 😉)
Anyway, guys, the point is, if you are wanting to have a couple of days off from work and parental/husbandly duties when contracting man flu, then above all else DO NOT TAKE ANY OILS…You have been warned.
This hilarious post was contributed by Kath & written by her husband Dan. Follow them on Facebook! integratedwellnessforlife.